The Plunge

When I started this whole journey to be free I would have never thought that it would bring me to this place. This is so much more that I bargained for, but I am glad that the Lord has brought me here. I am standing at the edge of the cliff and the Lord is asking me to jump....but you know me, I am hesitating. I am not sure that I want all this "freedom" that He talks about. All this "grace" that He so freely gives......oh and yea, He promises to LOVE me all the time, no strings attached. What?!? But, I have to walk through this Forest Fire first. There will be pain and I know that these flames are going to blister my soul...... but the Lord promises Healing of all that, but I have to take the first step. I have to jump off the cliff into the fire. I have to be willing to get burned and have all the pain, only then will there be Freedom. Only then, will I truly experience the LOVE of God. That is the only way that I can receive it. Why has it taken me this long to get to the edge? To realize what I have been searching for? I looked for this in so many places.....in drugs, in drinking, in rebelling, in the beds of countless men.........and it was there the whole time. He was there the whole time, just waiting......waiting on me to be ready. So, here I am on this edge and I am actually thinking of jumping......am I crazy? Yes, I am but I am jumping in a fire that will free me! Jesus, hold my hand and we can jump together! I am ready!