Upstream

Joshua 3:14-17 So when the people broke camp to cross the Jordan, the priests carrying the ark of the covenant went ahead of them. Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water's edge, the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away, at a town called Adam in the vicinity of Zarethan, while the water flowing down to the Sea of the Arabah (the Salt Sea [a] ) was completely cut off. So the people crossed over opposite Jericho. The priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan, while all Israel passed by until the whole nation had completed the crossing on dry ground.
I was in bible study this week and our leader brought up this passage. It really hit me for some reason. The priests had to take that step of faith. They had to trust that the Lord was working on things upstream. That is a really hard thing to do. I am not even sure that my little pinky toe would touch that water. They had the entire nation of Israel watching from the shore and they had to take that step of faith in front of all of them. How easy do you think that was? How easy is it for you? Do you trust that the Lord is working upstream for you?...that He has it all covered for you?...that when you take that step He will be there to make it all work out? I have to admit that this is something that I deeply struggle with. It is hard to just blindly trust that the Lord has got it covered. I can't see Him working upstream. I only see the water in front of me.

To be or not to be?

I was at bible study this morning and we got into a discussion about testing and proving the Lord's will. How do we know what the Lord's will is? Is there a Cosmo test that we can take to tell us when we have the "perfect 10" relationship with the Lord or is it more of a feeling...Me and God, we are just so there with each other... I have to say that I don't see the Lord as our dictator, our Dr.Evil type that will suddenly open the trap door to the crocodiles if we pick the wrong choice and ...agh! down we go (please tell me that someone other than me has seen Austin Powers)! It might be nice to think we have a techno savvy God that will send us a supernatural email with the answer to all our questions, although I am not sure that is how He really works. Maybe I look for more of the Lightening bolt with a Post-it note on it...Pick Choice B Wini Love Ya-the Big Man. Wouldn't that be so nice? So, how does God tell us His will for our lives?
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps. 37:4). Augustine said, "Love God and do as you please." Because if you're really loving God, you want to do what pleases him. - Randy Alcorn
For me, the jury is still out on what I really think about finding the True will of God, but... I do think that if we are in relationship with God and walk with Him daily...we will know. At least the decisions that matter. I don't really think that the Lord worries about what kind of MiniVan we buy or whether it is black or white. I think He cares much more about our Soul and whether we are in fellowship with Him, you know, giving our heart to Him daily. Cause if we are doing that, the obedience will just come, we will not have to wait on a PostIt Note.

Sharpening

So, I have to say that I have always said that I want to be in community. I want the love, the growth, the depth, the authentic relationships that come with this type of Life-doing. I would also say that I have truly opened myself up to this type of community with my closest friends, but something happened tonight that I have to say stopped me in my tracks. I was pushed. My thoughts were challenged. I was pressed to be real and honest and it was....uncomfortable, hard, maybe even frustrating. I struggled and groaned at the thought of how to answer, much less give the answer that I knew was right. I was trying to ask for the check so to speak....OK I know that we are friends, but there are certain things that you just don't press on...What you are asking me is hard and I am not sure what to say. Now, most friends would have left the awkwardness, the uncomfortable situation and just turned the other way...but not these friends, and guess why. They truly care for me and we exist together in true community. I experienced tonight true friendship where I was challenged in love without judgement. I am sure that this is what Christ meant when He said, As iron sharpens iron... I felt sharpened tonight and not to say that it felt good and comfortable the whole time. But, I am growing because of it. Thank you my friends, I love that we are in community together and pray that the Lord keeps us on the same journey for long time.

I see a Change

Something happened to me tonight that I will never forget. I was having a really hard day. Everyone in my family is sick (except me). I mean, it is so bad that I am almost wishing that I was sick just so I can get in bed, pull the covers over my head...you get the idea. I needed a break...big time. I am taking care of it all and I am done. Even Target at this point would have been a welcome break...anything would have worked. I was grasping for straws. Well, at this point, my two oldest decide that it would be a great day to pull all the punches out on Mom. Let's push her over the edge..HeHeHe...(this is what I envision they talk about in their room:o) I mean, it has been awhile since we have really sent her over the edge, she has not totally lost it lately...and so the evil plan was hatched and proceeded with during the rest of my Sunday. Well, it was bad, let's just leave it at that. But, with the Lord's help, I was able to keep my cool for the most part. What?, you say, I know it was a miracle straight from heaven! I made it through that entire day from Hell (I am so not kidding) and only lost it once. I was getting the older girls ready for bed and really felt the Lord telling me to talk out the day with them. I needed to make sure that we were still on the up and up, you know, make sure that our relationship had not been damaged by the one "loosing it" time. I sat down with them and we talked...I mean, really talked. We talked about how much I love them and how much the Lord loves them, and I asked for their forgiveness and they asked me to forgive them too.....it was awesome, beautiful, perfect, inspiring, emotional, healing...what else can I say...it was great! As my hubby and I walked downstairs after the final tuck-in to bed, he said the most beautiful words I have ever heard come from his precious lips... "I see a change in you. God is working in your life and I can see it."
I was speechless (hard to imagine I know). I don't think that any words could have sounded any better at that time in my world. It made me think of my Lord and how he is working the clay of my life...breaking, molding and turning that potters wheel to make me more like him. Thank you Lord, for placing me on your potter's wheel and for loving me so much that you waited until just the perfect time to start my process of molding.
Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

Grace Special - Today only!

We have a one day special just for you today. Grace only for what you are going through right this minute. There are no future installments. This is not a payment plan. God does not work in the Rooms to Go world where you get all the grace you need up front and then pay for it starting in 2011. Ok, Ok I know that this sounds totally cooky and weird, but isn't this what we expect from the Lord. Lord, give me grace to deal with what I am worried is going to happen in five years. What I am going to do when my girls are teenagers? What if my husband looses his job? What I am going to do when I get old and can't afford that cute tummy tuck? What if my kids don't come to know you? I want you to help me with these things, Lord! Are you there Lord? God doesn't give us our year's (or even month's) ration of grace and peace right now and then expect us to dole it out where it is needed over the next 30 days. He is right there with us, walking in our daily (sometimes hourly) life. We have what we need to take the next step and that is all we are promised. I often think about a friend of mine that had her first baby, only to have him pass away after only two months. How did she deal with it? How did she make it and just get out of bed every day? She did with the Lord. He was there and he brought all the grace and peace that she needed with him. I bet she got more on that day than I did. We each get our portion. He did not give her all that grace one morning and then said, OK, there you go, you just walk through life and whenever you need it, it is there. No, He is there to envelope you in love and grace just when you need it and then (imagine this) help you give out the same grace to others when they need to be the one on the receiving end.