Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Struggle

If you don't have boys, then it may be hard for you to understand this post. My son has recently gotten into Transformers. His uncle loves them and has ignited the same passion in my son. Now with this true passion for these toys, also comes great frustration. You see, Cam is just not quite old enough to quickly figure out how to transform them. One morning I hear him grunting and throwing things in his room. As I walk down the hall, the new Transformer comes flying out the door. I pick it up and stand in the doorway of his room. "You need some help buddy?" ... I would love to just show you one thing...Just let me show you,let me help you. "No!" was all that I got. He did not even look up at me. So, I stood there, watching him struggle. "I can help, Cam, if you want me to..." Again, not even a glance up my way, just the flat "No!" As I looked at him struggling with every bone in his body, but still wanting to do it all by himself, I was hurt...I just wanted to help him. I know that he can do it, but he would not have to struggle so much if I helped him, doesn't he know that. Doesn't he trust that I am only trying to make it easier on him. I don't want to do it all for him, I just want to do it with him, to help him. And then it happened, I was immediately struck with how our Lord must feel as He watches us. How He must yearn and desire to help us, to walk with us. How hurt must He be when we do not even glance his direction....when we do not even acknowledge that He wants to help....when we shake our head and say..."No, no Lord, I've got this one. I'm good, I don't need you" ...or maybe when we do not answer Him at all. He sees us struggle and strain through all the mountains and valleys that we walk through. He doesn't want us to do that alone. He wants to be there with us.

2 comments:

Jess said...

wini,
you are SO spot on, woman. i find myself doing this in areas...(especially with my kids)...not asking for His help, struggling...

love
jes

Anonymous said...

Wini,

Yes, boys and competency. It starts so young, doesn't it? For the rest of his life he will strive to show he's competent... he can do it, handle it, etc. A boy needs to figure this out, but it sure would be nice for all us boys (& girls)to learn that there is a competent One there to help us find our true strength. The process we all must go through to find this truth is through suffering... finding we need someone larger than ourselves. I hope, and pray, that Cam will find this truth, this person, sooner rather than later.