OK, Have you ever had to have a really tough conversation with someone and you just don't want to do it?
Well, I have to have one of these conversations with my mom and I just don't want to do it. I have to talk to her about some pretty tough stuff and I know that she is going to be hurt and get angry and all the other "common signs" that she feels threatened by what I have to talk to her about. I have to admit that I am fearful to have this conversation with her. I am afraid of what she is going to say back to me. I am afraid of how it is going to make her feel. I am afraid that she will take everything I say VERY personally. I am afraid that she is going to react badly and that it will DRASTICALLY affect our relationship......however surface it is. I am afraid! Now, my counsel would tell me that I am not responsible for how she reacts, I am just responsible for my side of the relationship and how I deal with it. Well, that is a ton of comfort...no really, it is. Ok, maybe not so much, but it is the truth and that is all that I have to stand on. This is the reality : I am not responsible for how she feels and what she takes away from this conversation. I can only speak the truth and be honest with her. Why is that so hard for me? Or should I say, Why is that so hard for me with my mom? I need to be honest with her about how angry I am with her. I have to tell her....I am ANGRY with you! You have HURT me! You have LIED to me! I feel BETRAYED by you! Yeah, sure....I can do that?!? Oh Jesus, help me, I am so afraid!
1 comment:
You seem very wise about the situation. It is difficult for some people to hear the truth without getting defensive or angry. But, you are a person who speaks the truth, and that is the best you can do.
I told my mother that she had hurt me, that I was angry with her, and I felt betrayed. Her response was to tell me that I must have some need to use her for a whipping boy for some misplaced agression that someone else must be causing in my life! And that she was Christian enough to bear my attack and wait for me to see the error in my thinking.
What can you do with someone like that?! She knows she is perfect, therefor I'm the one who has a screw loose, as she put it.
I am her child, what would she loose by comforting me?
I hope you have better luck than I did.
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